Reliance
by ladeedahdum
Summary: Nick and Olivia are two people caught in their own tough times. Mutual struggle will bring them together. The only question is... how close?


**Nick/Olivia one-shot, but it could possibly continue if there's a response to it. I honestly don't feel this relationship, but I've gotten a couple requests and I'm not one to deny a good story :) **

**It's set at the end of this season, except the Cragen drama isn't happening and Nick divorced his wife after she walked out on him.**

"Liv?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"When's my Dad going to get home?"

Olivia stopped chopping the ingredients for their dinner, wiped her hands, and checked her watch. "Uh... well the training at work he had to go to ends at six thirty."

"Can I see time is it?"

She bent down, knowing how Zara always liked to find things out herself. "Here's my watch, I can't see it! Can you read it for me?"

"It's... it's seven twenty."

Olivia furled her brows and smiled. "Really? Can you check again?"

"Yeah," Zara pointed her big fingers at the watch and counted the tick marks. "Oh, it's six twenty."

"Good job, you little goofball." She stood back up and continued her work on the cutting board. "He has to finish up there and catch a cab back, so it'll probably be about a half hour."

"Half the clock?"

She laughed softly and reached down to brush some hair out of Zara's face. "Yes, Zar, half the clock."

"I'm learning to read time in school," Zara said, sinking down against the counters to sit beside Olivia's legs, "but I'm not too good at it yet."

"You seemed pretty good at it to me!"

Zara smiled and leaned up against Olivia's leg, making her grin.

"Tired?"

"A little." The girl buried her head deeper into Olivia's kneecap, and she tried to smile through a little bit of discomfort. She reached down and took one of Zara's fine sandy curls in her hand.

"Boink," she said as she released the curl. She had been doing this all night, always earning giggles.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any kids?"

She laughed shyly, feeling the pain behind the question. "No, sweets, I don't."

Zara looked up at her and furled her eyebrows in confusion. "Why not?"

"Well, I never found the right daddy to have babies with."

"Can't you have a baby by yourself?"

Olivia's eyes widened, not sure how to answer the question. "No, uh... it doesn't work that way. Every baby needs a mommy and a daddy. Like you have."

Zara stayed quiet, and Olivia was relieved that she didn't require any more information to be satisfied. Finally, Olivia heard a whimper as she replied. "I don't have a mommy anymore."

Her heart sank, and she could feel it burn in her stomach. Tossing the food into the pan, she dropped her towel and sunk down beside Zara. "Yes you do, Zar. Your mommy is still your mommy."

"Then why isn't she here to do mommy things with me?" The honest helplessness in Zara's voice nearly made Olivia cry for her. She knew the feeling of being parentless.

"Well, honey, sometimes grownups make decisions that don't make sense. I don't know why she's not here, but... uh..." Olivia suddenly didn't know the right thing to say, "your Daddy is going to make sure you're taken care of while your Mommy makes some more decisions."

"Dad says I need to make good decisions."

Olivia chuckled and thunked her head on top of Zara's. "Yes, you definitely do."

Zara paused, considering the new information. "It seems like you do more mommy things with me than my Mommy."

In all her life, Olivia hadn't been at a loss for words like this. "Um... well, it's because you're a special little girl." She looked down with her big brown eyes at Zara's peering green ones.

"Livia, does it make you sad that you're not a mommy?"

_Ouch._ This was becoming a soap opera right before her eyes, and Olivia wasn't sure that she could keep her composure for much longer. "Uh... well, it does sometimes. But then I get so busy that I realize that... maybe it wasn't in the plan for me."

"At my church, they said that there's a plan for everyone."

"Hmm," Olivia responded. She wasn't particularly religious, but she enjoyed the sentiment behind Zara's little responses. "Maybe." There was a pause as the girls just sat, comforting each other. "Alright, I need to stir our dinner. Why don't you turn on the TV while I finish up?"

"Okay," Zara said, hopping up to walk into the living room.

The door clicked with keys. Because it was a little earlier than expected, Olivia went to the door instinctually, looking through the peephole.

Nick swung the door open, smacking Olivia in the face. "Man, I forgot which key to use."

"I'm behind the door, Nick..."

"Liv," he chuckled, peeling the door back to reveal her squished awkwardly in the corner. "Sorry about that. You alright?"

"Mhm," Olivia said, rubbing her nose.

"Zara, I'm home."

"I'm in the living room!"

"Good to know..." Nick muttered, hanging up his coat. Olivia chuckled as he blew a raspberry. "Seven going on seventeen."

"I started dinner, all that's left to do is for Zara to get cleaned up and in her pajamas."

"Woah, Liv, you cooked?"

"Yeah, I figured you'd be in no mood after that stuff."

"It was terrible... but you didn't have to do that," Nick said, putting his hand on the small of Olivia's back for a half-second as they walked into the kitchen.

"Eh, I'm still paying you back for saving my life," she came back.

"Well, watching this one?" he smirked, gesturing towards Zara in the adjoining living room, "we'll call it even." Olivia laughed.

"You're home early. It hasn't been half the clock yet!" Zara said, trotting into the kitchen and wrapping her arms around her dad's thighs.

Nick looked up at Liv knowingly with a smile, and then looked back to his daughter. "Have you been telling time for Olivia?"

"Yeah!"

"That's awesome. You're a smart cookie, right?"

"Right!" she responded enthusiastically as Nick ran his hand through her hair.

"Zara, sweets, can you go take a shower and get cleaned up while Olivia and I finish dinner?"

Zara pouted, making Olivia try hard to stifle a smile.

Nick returned the pout and whined, "please?"

She giggled. "Okay, okay."

"Go ahead, babe." He bent down to kiss her forehead before she trotted off down the hallway.

Olivia smiled softly as she and Nick sat side by side, finishing up dinner at the stove. "Ball of energy, huh?"

"You have no idea," he smirked.

She waited to hear the water run before she clued him in on what had happened earlier. "Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up on something..."

Nick immediately looked concerned and snapped his head towards Olivia. "What is it?"

She smiled and covered a pot on the stove. "Relax, Nick, it's nothing serious. She just... had some questions about why Mommy left... and why I do things with her that Mommy's supposed to do."

There wasn't a trace of a smile on Nick's face as he shook his head, clearly upset. "I was wondering how long it would take for the questions to start."

"I just told her that grownups make decisions sometimes that don't make sense. I really was at a loss." Olivia looked to Nick, who was just stirring the vegetables on the back burner and staring blankly. "Nick... what are you thinking?"

Nick paused. "I'm thinking that Maria really sucks for leaving that girl."

Olivia opened her mouth to talk, but decided to just nod.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Liv," he muttered, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not cut out for this. I'm really not."

"Don't say that, Nick."

He let out a breath. "How can I not? She needs a mother."

There was a pause as the thoughts simmered away in Nick's brain. That was never a good sign.

"What am I going to do when she tries drugs or alcohol? When she falls hard for someone and can't be snapped out of it? When she gets her first period?"

"Well, first of all, let's hope it doesn't happen in that order," Olivia said quietly, and then kicked herself for making a joke.

Nick paused, considering what he had just said. Finally, he let out a deep chuckle. "You're a pain in the ass."

Olivia dropped the wooden spoon she was cooking with and stood behind Nick, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing. She rested her head between his shoulder blades and let out a breath.

"That's unusual for you," Nick commented.

"I know how much you need it. Because all of those things happened to me when my mom wasn't there. At least mentally wasn't there," Olivia smirked. "But I didn't have a dad either. A good dad, like you."

"I'm not a good dad. I need a learner's permit."

"My dad was a rapist, I'm pretty sure you beat that."

Nick peeked over his shoulder at Olivia's head. "You have a pretty dry sense of humor sometimes, you know?"

Olivia broke the embrace and went back to cooking beside him. "I know." The two stood and just smiled. "You're going to be fine, Nick, you do know that, don't you?"

Nick nodded slowly. "I know I can count on you to help me."

"You can," she said, hopping up on the counter to pour two glasses of wine where she had set it out earlier, "can't promise you I'll do any better than you could."

"You're amazing," Nick said, looking into her eyes a little too intently. She met his gaze and shyly looked back to where she was pouring the wine.

"Thanks, Nick. You're not so bad yourself. Considering I pretty much owe my current existence to you."

He chuckled. "You know, you can let that go any time you want."

"Shut up," she said, swatting him with a towel.

"That kind of hurt."

"I know, I was a shortstop in high school," Olivia said, giggling and extending a glass of wine to Nick. He walked across to where she was sitting and hopped up beside her. She felt a little strange at the closeness... but she didn't feel uncomfortable. She actually liked it. _Hold on, you can't feel this way about Nick. _

"Did she say anything else?"

Olivia laughed. "She asked my why I didn't have kids. I was starting to worry that I would have to give her the sex talk."

Nick smirked. "Olivia?"

"Yes?" She said, trying to lighten the tone. It didn't work. She caught Nick's eyes again.

After looking at her for a couple more seconds, he shook his head, looked down and smiled.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm just... being stupid."

She paused, sensing his discomfort. "Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about."

"Daddy! I can't get the water to turn warm again!" Zara shouted from the hallway, grumpy and wrapped in a towel.

"I'll be right in!" Nick shouted, smiling. "Can we talk more later?"

"Of course."

He smiled at her and planted a kiss on her cheek quickly. Olivia blushed and leaned into it, making sure he knew she wanted it. She patted his thigh before he hopped down.

"Go take care of your girl, Daddy."

Smiling, he took a few steps and was out of the small kitchen. "Oh, Liv," he said, peeking back around the corner.

"Yes?"

"You'll be a great mom someday."

**End?**


End file.
